09.24.18
The Weekly Film Blog
The Director's Coffee
Hey Guys!
Time never stops, you can see it come and go in a blink of eye.
& memories are even shorter than that, & having fun is even shorter than . Filmmaking can be used for Talking, Creativity, Perspective, and Distraction from the world.
Movies give us a feeling that one day, we will feel complete or away from home..
Even if just for a few hours out of our short lives.
Yet, from an introspective view of film, the narratives we want to tell (as storytellers) have to come from arbitrary concepts of conscientiousness. AKA just make shit up that you find interesting.
I'm dealing with a lot of inner conflict with myself for going to film school, and leaving the city where I had all my new connections.
What a waste of time.. Right?
Well I also had a few problems,
1. My Student Visa was expiring so I had to leave the country.
2. I was broke and back to square one of not knowing anyone in the industry.
One day I just realized that the only way to get noticed in this heartbreaking city of angels, which was to first.. Go into depression. I got really depressed, I felt like I'm not as good as I was when it came to thinking of new ideas for stories, and more worse, I stopped writing and filming for a while. This helped me realize that I can only depend on myself.
"Life is really hard"
A saying I always heard when I was in my teens but continuously brushed off my shoulder with this ridiculous notion that I will make a name for myself before I even know it.
Well whether it's being broke, financially & creatively,
Not finding the right people to work with, or not knowing anyone to work with.
I still kept my hopes up.
To this day I'm just keeping my head above water, just long enough to see if I can really do this or just burn out. Contemplating back and forth about what I put my TIME and effort in these last few years. And more importantly, was it the right decision?
.
Maybe I should've went to a different film school, maybe instead of school I should've saved that money and shot a feature film, maybe I should've decided to become a 1st AD and work on union TV shows to stay inspired..
Maybe..
Or maybe this was the path I was suppose to take. The path less traveled.
I mean, it's literally just me on this certain path.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You have to fight for what you believe in.
Fighting isn't all physical, it's more mental. You are your worst critic, your worst enemy, besides the people you've met that may feel like they want to be your worst critic or enemy.
In Director/Actor Eli Roth's Video Interview below
He gives tips 4 Great Tips how to deal with putting your time in a feature film
1. Don’t put yourself in a box
2. There's no such thing as an "overnight success"
3. What do you do when everything goes wrong?
4. Look for happy accidents
And as for not thinking your work is as good as it WAS.
Realize
It's okay to like yourself (and your work). You're going to NEED to like yourself.
You have a little attitude, it's alright everyone has a little attitude in this business. To feel this explosion of triumphant pride when you were the only one that said it could be done, the only one to see a vision, YOUR vision. Then to achieve it after all the losses and mistakes, the feeling, and the momentum that will remind you and push you to keep going because trusting yourself was the best decision you ever made.
So I'm writing again. Pushing old ideas for features, and turning them into 5-10 minute scripts with one or two people, and one location. For the past few months I've been investing in my production company by buying new equipment for ADR, Camera Rigs, Lights, and office supplies.
I want to write 10 new stories that if I wanted to film I had everything I would need to shoot it at anytime. I am currently also making a short documentary for the Vegas Strong survivors, Along with planning to make a 15 second horror short for a festival entry, not to mention currently editing a trailer & poster for my iron giant fan film. It sounds like a lot but to me, it sounds like not enough. I'm so impatient, and I need distractions from putting myself down other than my part time job.
Productive Distractions that is.
Why?
Because life is better when you make stuff.
As long as you have a great head on your shoulders, always have the confidence to do things where you might've not had the confidence to do. Remind yourself that you're doing everything right to get you where you need to go.
Now go make something.
-Jawsh